Pissed off Adoptee (POA)

To Whom this may Concern:

I would like to ask you a question. Do you know your medical history? Did your grandmother have cancer? Your mom? Maybe even your sister? So that means that you should probably get tested right? Early detection leads to a better quality of life, right? So then what if I told you that I don't know what my family history is? No, I did not loose my family in some horrible accident, no, I am not an orphan. I have a loving family who raised me and loved me. But the thing is, I have 2 identities. My name is Nicole, but my name was once Rachel. You see, I'm an adult adoptee. Like myself, there are so many others who know nothing about our birth families, except for the information that you let them provide in a closed adoption. I know that 26 years ago everyone in my biological family seemed to have been in good health. 26 years is a long time when health issues come to mind.

Now, if I was related by blood to my adoptive family I would know that I need to get checked for diabetes, hypertension, and breast cancer. I would know that weight is a major problem for me when I reached my 40s. But I know none of these things. I get to go to a new doctors office and check unknown for all family history, because I don't know. I know I have another family out there somewhere, but because you feel you need to protect my birth families rights, you step on mine. You step on my children's rights and the future generations of my continued blood line. The thing is, closed adoptions are cruel. You severed the tie between my birth mother and I, you hold my identity hostage and then you praise all of the people out there how have made the choice to relinquish, because families need children. Well what about the children who were removed from unfit homes? Stop grasping for the newborns, stop stealing us away. Use the money and the resources that you have to help those children who need it.

Signing off,
A Pissed Off Adoptee

Hot Button Topics (HBT) Series: Volume 1: A-Parents VS B-Parents

Before really diving into the world of adoption. I had this jaded view of how things worked.
"A loving mother who just can't support her child, decides to make an adoption plan.?
Wouldn't that just be sugar dust and fairies if all adoptions were open, and all adoptees knew their info. But can't a girl dream?

Anyways, back to the topic


Keep in mind this series is about Hot Button Topics, they are not meant to offend ANYONE! Just things I have noticed since emmersing myself into the adoption world that seem to push buttons.

A-Parents VS B-Parents

I've noticed a distrubing divide between these two groups and sadly, adoptees are  kind of stuck in the middle to choose sides. I can't completly understand this divide only because I myself am a bit of an outsider( neither being an Aparent nor a Bparent.

What bugs me about this, is the fact that there is even a divide about this issue, yes emotions are running high, but can we not just be civil and acknowledge eachothers feelings and emotions with empathy and care? We are all humans, and certain things push certain buttons, but I feel that we couldn't act in the split second, take a breath, and think about something before you say it. I may only be 24, but I've had to learn to do this, otherwise my mother and I would have scratched eachothers eyes out by now!

In a way both groups (not always but there are a few individuals) paint eachother as "the bad guy".

Any neither group is innocent when it comes to this because it's gone both ways on several different occasions.

Sadly with all of the head butting, it seems to be a bit of a step back in the works towards adoption reform,

How are we going to move forward with adoptee rights, bparent rights and aparent rights when we can't just agree to disagree?