Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Adoptee "status" Does Not Define ME.... My story Part 2

I am not Just an adoptee
I am not Just a daughter
I am not Just a woman
I am not Just a mother, a fiance, or just a friend
I am ME
I am ME because of where I came from,
because of where I went,
How I got there,
because of where I'm going
and How I will get there

I took me quite some time to get to this point.

I guess after the genetics courses in the 7th grade, I started defining myself as an adoptee.

I remember the stares I got as I raised my hand stated that there was no way I could do this assignment, and the way I felt when she said “Well just look at the personality traits you have from your parents.”

I was so different from my parents, how could I see what personality traits I got from them?

I remember that day all too well, I went home and observed.

“My mom is a neat freak; I’m am not
My dad is kind of messy, but well, he’s used to mom picking up after him; guess I get that from him….
My mom is LOUD!! But then again, she only has 10% hearing
I’m loud; but that’s because I’m so used to having to damn near yell so my mom can hear me, I guess I can write that down.
After going through it all I realized that even when you grow up with people, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to be anything like them AT ALL!
I’m super emotional, neither of my parents are. I’m hyper active, loud, can be annoying at times, wear my heart on my sleeves, not very ambitious, I hate anything to do with house work and I just want people to like me, even though I’ve realized I let people walk all over me.”

That’s when the major adoption interrogation happened (my poor mom) She told me everything she knew, and gave me the greatest gift I could have at that time, MY non-identifying info paperwork!!! I will never forget that day.

I went to my room sat on my bed and just stared at all the information my 1st mom had provided! She’s average height and weight, athletic build (LIKE ME!) blonde hair, blue eyes! My grandmother was short (LIKE ME!), and I have AN UNCLE! He was slender, brown hair green eyes! My 1st father side, He was tall and athletic (keep in mind my world was sports at this time, my parents not so much) his mother was short, and as the paperwork explained sounded like she was bottom heavy (LIKE ME!!)

It was insane to think that I seemed to have a very close personality as my 1st parents; we all love sports, she was a sprinter in track, I was a sprinter on the soccer field, and just by reading I knew that my body type with close to both of my grandmothers!!!

So I turned in a paper that stated something along the lines of “Due to the fact that I could not complete the original assignment, and given that the second assignment did not pertain to genetics AT ALL, I have provided similarities that I have with my birth parents,”

Needles to say people do not understand adoption unless they are a part of the triad. My science teacher called my mother, thinking that I made it all up for attention! My mother was livid! Her daughter is now in the midst of an identity crisis and now her teacher is calling her a story teller. That was a hard week….

……more later... thanks for reading!

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