Friday, February 11, 2011

Older Adoptive Parents

Ever since my Uncle's funeral, I've been keeping this deep in the back of my mind. My parents were both 38 when I came home, not a big deal right? Women have children at that age and sometimes older... But do they ever think how their children will feel when they hit their 20s?

Here's my logic, may not make sense because I'm trying not to get emotional about it.

My best friend is 28, her mother is 50
My husband is 25 is parents are 50-51... his grandparents are 65-69
My cousin Marcus 32, My Uncle Al was in his early to mid 50s
I'm 24 and my parents are 62..

My parents are the same age as my husbands grandparents... and yes his Granny had his dad when she was 15 but do you see the gap that concerns me?

Chris's GiGi, Paw Paw and Granny are in their 60s with great grand children, they get to enjoy them for maybe another 20 years! And possibly even live to see Great-Great grands....

Will my parents be around in another 20 years? They both HATE doctors, so I'm always worried, will I have to bury my parents in my 40s? Will i have to bury them SOONER?

My dad's father... my grandfather developed dementia in his early to mid 70s... his about 84 now about 2 years ago he had no clue who I was... will my dad have the same fate?
His step mother passed away in her 50s from breast cancer...
My dad's bio Mom, passed in her 50s to 60s from breast cancer and her husband 2 years later from a brain aneurysm

My maternal grandmother was 79... how much longer do I have with my parents?

I shouldn't have to worry about this at 24!!!


  1. Adopting is hard enough and then you have people who are pridefull and have no respect attacking you. I don't know of it is because I am older. But I don't count on anyone's opinion anymore. I live my life. My kids are happy. And people will always criticize and complain even. When they are just lamos in their parenting. You can vent. And don't worry. We all do. Lol. We are humans. Xoxo

  2. This comment was for your last post not this one !
    I was on my phone when i wrote it~ maybe it explains why...Anyways...See this is my problem. i am not young anymore and i want to adopt from China. It even takes 3 years to adopt. This is so tough but i think even if we die. My kids will have each other. I think it is always better than to be in an Orphanage all your life. No family. My dad was an Orphan all his life. I would not wish it to anyone.

  3. Talking about you on my blog. Hope you had a great day !

  4. i understand that. I think my fear is because I am an only child so I don't have siblings to lean on once my parents are gone. Its a scarey thought but its a part of life

  5. It's hard. Life is f-ed. We all do the best we can. I'm sure your parents would have liked to have had you younger, and yet if they had adopted earlier, they wouldn't have you! (Coming from someone who just adopted at age 36).

    I buried my dad at 50 (I was 29). Certainly one of the worst days of my life. What's worse is after losing my dad I realized what my mom was going thru losing her husband. And that I had a 50% chance of going through the same thing! (Statistically you have a 50% chance of dying before your spouse--either that or your spouse is the one left).

    None of us knows what is in store. We only have so much control. The rest we just have to... IDK... go with the flow.

    Hang in there, Nicole.

  6. Of course it's all balance too. I can't imagine trying to parent and provide for a child at 15... or 50! KWIM?

    Hopefully you'll have many happy, healthy years together.