Papa Don't Preach

So, I know all 6 of my readers, (yay welcome new comers!) are probably wondering why I always talk about my mom and never my dad.

Well, I guess today will be the day that I explain my relationship with my father.

From what I remember as a kid, I was a daddy's girl. We had the "perfect" life. Military dad, stay-at-home Mom, play dates, lunch-ins, family vacations, neighborhood vacations. Well, for 3 years, my dad was stationed out of state, and because we had a new house and had just relocated my mom and dad figured he could come home for the holidays and sometimes the weekends and special occassions. Well, needless to say, I did not have a say in this, and was not happy with him leaving. So everyday life went on, dad was gone. When he did visit I was eladed, until the day came to take him to the airport. I remember crying the entire way to the airport saying "Daddy, please don't leave!" After a while my mom found me a babysitter when it was time for him to leave because I just could not handle it. Fast forward to him coming home. At that point after 3 years of it, I think I put up a wall and numbed myself to it, so, him coming home wasn't a sad or happy day, it was just another day.

Then came school. My dad is a very educated man, so me doing well in school and after school activites were very important. I was in ballet for 7 years until my studio closed and the nearest one was 2 hours away, so that was a very sad day, the day I had to hang up my ballet slippers, jazz and tap shoes. Then was the piano lessons! I loved the piano, until I HAD to take lessons. I played by hear so for someone to make me learn the notes and practice made it HELL! Not to mention German school on Saturdays (so much for staying up late) All of this before the 4th grade.. wow! I was a busy kid. So grades started slipping in 4th grade, dad had retired from the military and turned into the grumpiest man I've ever met!

Grades grades grades! Spelling words. Write them 20x then 19x then 18x until you get to 1x and you can spell them out loud without looking at them. Long nights doing homework, being lectured while standing at attention about how important my education was. Now as a mother I get that he had good intentions, he wanted me to study hard and be someone. He always said I'd be the perfect pilot or the 1st female president.

Well, grades were still averaging around C's in math but everything else was great. So I was allowed to stop going to German school and play soccer. I have great memories with my dad and my soccer games. I think out of the years that I played he missed only 3 games, Mom only came to 1. She couldn't stand watching me on the field, I was her ballerina and she was so scared I would get hurt! He made sure I had the best equipment, the best ball, had a practice net in the back yard, Dad was my biggest fan and if we lost a game and I was mad he would just tell me I played hard and that these are the things that he noticed and that I need to keep my head in the game.

Then came the OVERPROTECTIVE dad of a pre-teen/teenager. All the other girls got to go to the movies with their friends, not me, if there was no adult present I was not allowed. Talking to boys on the phone, God forbid dad finding out. I mean I can list off all of them but I don't have that much time and neither do all of you.

But then came MY rebellion. My mom saw that dad was being a "little" strict. No straight As no learners permit, needless to say I didn't get my license until I was 21 with a 2 year old. My cerfew at 16, was 6 pm. No cell phone, no allowance, no nothing. If I went somewhere I got my mom's cell (I get it now trust me) But I was the only 16 Year old that couldn't stay at past 9 pm! So, I got into the WRONG crowds, older boys, alcohol and drugs. Thats where I met my sons father, "Summer Love" I was 16 he was 18 with his own apartment his own car, had a job, and had older friends over 21... So we partied, I "spent the night" at my friends house over the summer, my dad never asked questions, my mom was out of town and he trusted her parents.

The day of my 17th birthday, I ran away with boy, made it to Chicago from Georgia, hung out at the Sears Tower and got found by mom mother!!!!!

Fast forward to now. Me and my dad text more then we talk. And i'm not looking forward to the Father Daughter dance. Although in the back of my head I am. I'm hoping that there will be a silent love between us that I'll feel in that moment.